Thursday, October 11, 2007

Of Nothing and Something.

Has it been so long?
Hello Blogsvile.

I’m depressed. I don’t know why.
No... That isn’t true. I do know why. It’s not just one thing. It’s so many things.
For the last 2 weeks I’ve taken my morning exercise routine more seriously , not because I’m keen on owning the Olympian physique that’s beginning to hint beneath my skin , but because it’s the fastest way to get me out of my mood. After a 10km hike every morning with rock music (yes...I love rock) blaring into my ears. My spirit is lifted out of it’s spiral descent into gloom.
I sound terribly melancholic don’t I?
I can’t believe I’ve written 10 lines and I haven’t said anything funny.
This sucks.

So this post here really isn’t about anything. I’m writing this because next to a 10km hike with rock music on my Psp. The only other things that lifts my spirit just as effectively is writing (and sex). Seeing as I cannot at the moment have the later I am stuck with writing.
Hopefully by the time I’m done with this post I’ll actually say something funny.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
No. That’s not it.
Oh well sooner or later I’m bound to say something funny. I’ll keep trying.

The last 2 week have been crazy. I have exams in 2 weeks.
Exams; Large rooms. Specially trained invigilators assisted with groups of surveillance robots. The last set of questions that stomped the Physics Nobel laurel aspirates printed boldly on A4 sheet. You’ve got an answer booklet and 2 hours. Figure out what Einstein couldn’t .Everyone’s sniggering at you. The lecturers, the robots, the questions and the two hours.
Yes those.

Well, I’ve got exams in two weeks and thus far most of what I’m reading doesn’t seem to be making much sense. Physics is a really annoying topic. Space time continuum. Not as much fun as Star trek makes it. Physics has the ability to ruin Natures miracles.
An apple fell from a tree. Nice and yummy you would think.
Toss in physics and all of a sudden you have gravity and a whole bunch of vector and scalar forces to contend with.
Why not just let the damn apple be?

Jack had sex with Jill.
a. Calculate the velocity of his forward thrust.
b. How long doe he have to maintain this speed to ensure she has a 5 minute long orgasm if the temperature of the room is at 32c.
c. Given Jack’s proclivities to sadomasochism , piercing and heavy spanking during sex how fast will it take Jill to get her clothes on, grab her purse and run out of the room?

Why wouldn’t I feel depressed?

Midst my woes and confusion I had a fight with one of my ex girlfriends.
I realize that I haven’t really mentioned much about my past relationships. Maybe it’s cos they’re not something I like to dwell on much. Maybe it’s cos I like to respect the privacy and memories of my relationships. A gentleman never kisses and tells. That sort of thing.
The girl in question was my first girlfriend. An extremely lovely and high spirited lady. We dated for about 7 months and then split up. Thinking back now, I realize that maybe we never should have dated. It ‘s the same old story. We were so great as friends we thought that we had enough to make the transition to something more.
We were wrong

So we had a fight.
She accused of me not having moved on, Which hurt, And of saying things about her behind her back. Derogatory and hurtful things. That hurt even more.
I’ve always been told by my friends, male and female, that I am too nice a person.
People are going to take advantage of you eventually. My mum always told me. Till then I’ll just be the only one who does.

I think people have only taken advantage of you if their actions harm you in some negative way. What might be okay with one person might be sufficient reason for another to grab a biro and stab you with it. It’s all relative. As long as they don’t harm me, I’m okay with what they do. So what if they borrowed my bottle of perfume and never returned it. I don’t mind. I’m like that. If I did mind I wouldn’t have allowed them take it in the first place.
Don’t all rush to my closet at once.

It hurt me terribly that she (my ex) would believe that I did say things about her behind her back. Particularly since they weren’t true. I tried to convince her that the stories she heard were false. That I hadn’t said anything derogatory about her. She didn’t believe me.
As far as she was concerned I was an ass of a boyfriend.
I said bad stuff about her.
I was responsible for 9/11 and the death of the dinosaurs.
Case closed.
See you later Johnny Cochrane.

Why are people quick to believe the worst about other people? Why are acts of kindness frowned upon with suspicion and act of callousness accepted without criticism. Why are humans so quick to believe the worst of their neighbors? Has humanity degraded so far that benevolence is now perceived as alien?
I don’t know.
I think maybe in the end humans feel more comfortable with misdeeds. It’ human to be imperfect. To have flaws. My last girlfriend had one major problem with me. I was too understanding. Whenever she did something wrong, or we had an argument, I always understood her reason. I never had problems forgiving her. It worried her a lot. I think she felt like she was taking advantage of me. But she wasn’t. Not in any way.

Are human fundamentally greedy?
I guess that’s life’s riddle for you.
We might finally be one small village but humans still don’t understand each other. Story of our existence.

I feel sorry for all those aliens locked up in their war rooms planning on strategies to take over our world. They’re in for a big surprise. We’re hardly the Garden of Eden.

Okay I feel much better. I don’t feel like the complete idiot that I thought I was this morning.
You know….
The kind of guy who sits and stares fixedly at a pack of orange juice just because he saw the word “concentrate”.
That kind of guy?
No I feel better.

What this most welcoming of news means is I do not have an excuse not to return to studying.
It’s back to the physics textbooks for me.
All those annoying theories and equation. Hamiltons principle. Schroedinger's equation. Derivatives of derivative. Years and years of Newtonian dialogue. So many annoyingly difficult quesitons.
Jack is still there.
This time he has Jill ,Mary and little Miss muffet.
Show off!


Arewa said...

Awwwww dont be depressed!!
Jack had sex with
Ok ur really depressed.
Ansd come on ur not a complete idiot. U r a guy with a good sense of humoor, who writes really cool blogs athat i look forward to reading...SO TAKE THAT BACK NOW :)
{[BIg Big Big Big HUG]}

It seems like the last couple of weeks have just been a bit rough...cheer up 4 me ok?! x x

Lighty said...

awwww my baby is depressed, 'sniff', now u're making me depressed eyyy dont do this to us.

ok boy, fix up and look sharp. u know u'll be fine so stop sulking ok buddy?

and look even with it all u still managed to analyze jack and jill's sex life and the lot. lol! see why i cant do without u? u're just wonderful.

cheer up love 1, make sure u're doing a 'close up' advert now, as in shine ur teeth. lol.

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

here's a hug o

bumight said...

and I actually like physicso. right about now, I'd rather be content calculating the velocity with which Jack is thrusting than having to worry about all the sticky things T lymphocytes have on them and how they fight antigens (stupid immunology exam in 3 days!)

Queen of My Castle said...

You're so cute! You remind me of a hummingbird. They are symbolic of messengers, optimism, sweetness, and the ability to roll with the punches. I was actually gonna get a tattoo of a hummingbird. You're sucha sweetheart. The woman you marry truly has a gem. I'm an undercover nerd. I loved Physics!

*Hug* *Peck on the cheek*

So, when do my French lessons start? Lip gloss or nude lips?

UndaCovaSista said...

Should we be worried about you, Carl? Or are you going to be okay?There appears to be a trend emerging from your recent posts - depression! Oya, repeat after me :
Everyday in everyway, i'm getting happier and happier ;o)

Naapali said...

"The kind of guy who sits and stares fixedly at a pack of orange juice just because he saw the word �concentrate�.
That kind of guy?"

No you are not. Nor are you the guy that convulses before using the cough syrup that says "shake well before using"!

Jaja said...

Depressed ke?
Nobody there to involve you in booze?

Anonymous said...

awwww, dont be depressed. U'll be fine i guess. U'r such a funny writer and believe me u'v jst made me laugh right from the start of ur post.

We all go thru the phase anyways, so am sure u'l be alright.

Carlang said...

@ Arewa:
Thanks dear.
I’m actually not feeling depressed right now. Right now I’m on an incredible high. Thanks so much for the nice words. And yes , I agree with you . I’m not a complete idiot. Not completely.
There. I took I back.
Jack and Jill send their regards.
Cheerfully yours!

@ Lightly:
Oh no. I’ve got my darling all depressed.
I’m so sorry dear. The last thing I’d want to do is put a frown on that lovely face of yours.
Cute lovely funny you.
How are you?
Howz work kicking?

Okay I’m smiling now.
Close up advert on the way.
Don’t mind me jare! I’ll be fine. I’m already working on fixing my problems. It’s going to take a while but if I play my cards right I think I’ll be okay in the end. Albeit one or two scars.
Thanks lightly.
You see why I cant do without you?
You’re precious!

@ Catwalq :
Thanks for the hug dear.
How are you? Loved your last post by the way. You’re a lovely writer.

@ Bumight :
Don’t we all.
Jack and Jill’s sexercise?
Personally I’d prefer to be doing the actual study and not just stay content with calculating the variable involved.
Poor you. As it turns out, I just happen to know what T lymphocytes are. I never really liked them either. Exams. Tests.
We should rebel and boycott them all.
Are you with me?

Queen of my castle : Hummingbird.
I always fancied myself more of a stallion.
Aren’t humming frail looking iridescent birds.
That’s me?
Thanks dear.
Thanks for the simile.
You’re right about rolling with the punches. I seem to laugh at all my excesses and life’s little bumps. Only this time I plan on doing some fighting back of my own.
I thought you had two tattoos already? Where would you put a tattoo of a hummingbird?
Seeing as I have close ties with hummingbirds I’m just being cautious.
I’m a hummingbird.
Say I was a hummingbird tattoo… Where would I want to be?
Undercover nerd?
You loved physics? Maybe. We’re talking high school stuff here right? There isn’t a single person in my class who loves the course he/she is doing. You’re officially a legend. I’m announcing it to everyone.
The patron saint of physics.
That’s you.
Thanks for the chin up message.
I’m a Hummingbird who just might get tattooed….
Thanks for the hug and peck.
Thanks for being you.

Lip gloss or nude lips?
Here’s the secret no one ever remembers.30 seconds after the lesson starts it really wont matter !
One way or another.

@ Undercovasista: :
Everyday in everyway I’m getting happier.
Everyday in everyway I’m getting happier.
Everyday in everyway I’m getting happier.

Is this some Moroccan therapy you picked up is it. Am I supposed to do this midst wearing a Fez?
Would proximity to a camel help?
Everyday in everyway I’m getting happier.

Thanks dear.
You’re right I have been in a bit of a spin lately.
But I’m on my way back up. When next you read my blog you’ll see.
Everyday in everyway I’m getting happier.

So this answers your question dear.
I am going to be okay.
You don’t have to be worried about me.
But it’s sweet that you do.

@Naapali :
Lol. Funny. Very funny

@ Jaja: Booze ke?
Booze doesnt lift my spirits.
Just gets me extremely tired, then silly , then extremely horny and then the darkness.

@ Chicala: I totally agree with you. We all go through it sometimes.
I'm fine now though.
Thanks for the compliment on my blog.
Lets hope we all have less of bad days.

30+ said...

The kind of guy who sits and stares fixedly at a pack of orange juice just because he saw the word “concentrate”.

Let me laugh small ROFLMAO, Carly wan kill me with laughter o.

Don't mind that egbecious girl, it says a lot if she will rather believe the worst.

The early morning exercise and music is good. Get lots of fresh air and TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Don't listen to Jaja o, he is a naughty boy. When the effect of booze goes you will still have to face reality.

PHYSICS - I have severed all forms of relationship with that subject save the day to day laws of gravity and velocity.

bighead said...

Funny or not, I'll still laugh. Yes, I'm that kind of footmat person with high tolerance. Talk of being taken advantage of... the worst part is that people will do it unconsciously sef if yu let them.

I don't think it has to hurt for it to be called that. Once the person benefits, yu've been had.

Physics exams??? That's so yesterday for me. Thank God. Now I have to cram huge diagrams like the Nigerian power grid and similar nonsense and try not to cheat in a hall with microchips flying around like aeroplanes. Can't wait to graduate.

ozaveshe said...


now i know what those two were doing when they went up that hill. i mean jack and jill. remember the nursery rhyme we were taught back in school -

jack and jill
went up the hill
to get a pail of water
i dont know what they did up there
but they came back with a daughter

Lighten ur mood, man. might just be those exams making u mody

Arewa said...

Thats the spirit...mmuuuaaahhh x

Queen of My Castle said...

I don't have any plans to get more tattoos, but if you WERE a hummingbird tattoo, just where would you want to reside?

It's agreed, we'll try both nude lips and glossed up lips...just to be sure.

Lighty said...

oi! u cool?

femme said...

Cheer up, life cant be that bad.
the ex in ex girlfriend means u shouldnt care what she thinks anymore.
and u actually managed to be funny in the post
anyway, cheer up and i hope u are having a jolly weekend

~Mimi~ said...

aawwww u r funny in-law wannabe.

no need to be depressed :) u have a great sense of humour!

if u look at it like 'ur not meant to be having sex' you wont feel like ur missing out on much..he he he, i think i just found the cure for men.

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

dear, are we going to get an update or what?
kisses....lots of them

Nyemoni said...

Gosh...You are so deep! Hope you're ok?

ozaveshe said...

how come only chics comment on your blog sef?

update, we're waiting...

Lighty said...

update! update!! update!!! why da hell r u not updating? hope u're alright boo, i've missed u terribly, blogville can never be d same without u. come out and playyyy.

fantasy queen said...

hey perv...trying to get sympaty from the'.i wont fall for the trap
it'll pass, just swallow 6 tabs of prozac....

Freaksho said...

Carl,my good man.finally get to read your blog.good're even 7th of July?

Onome said...

i love d Jack and Jill analogy!! now DAT was funny!!!! Nice write up broda!