Has it been so long?
I’m depressed. I don’t know why.
No... That isn’t true. I do know why. It’s not just one thing. It’s so many things.
For the last 2 weeks I’ve taken my morning exercise routine more seriously , not because I’m keen on owning the Olympian physique that’s beginning to hint beneath my skin , but because it’s the fastest way to get me out of my mood. After a 10km hike every morning with rock music (yes...I love rock) blaring into my ears. My spirit is lifted out of it’s spiral descent into gloom.
I sound terribly melancholic don’t I?
I can’t believe I’ve written 10 lines and I haven’t said anything funny.
So this post here really isn’t about anything. I’m writing this because next to a 10km hike with rock music on my Psp. The only other things that lifts my spirit just as effectively is writing (and sex). Seeing as I cannot at the moment have the later I am stuck with writing.
Hopefully by the time I’m done with this post I’ll actually say something funny.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
No. That’s not it.
Oh well sooner or later I’m bound to say something funny. I’ll keep trying.
The last 2 week have been crazy. I have exams in 2 weeks.
Exams; Large rooms. Specially trained invigilators assisted with groups of surveillance robots. The last set of questions that stomped the Physics Nobel laurel aspirates printed boldly on A4 sheet. You’ve got an answer booklet and 2 hours. Figure out what Einstein couldn’t .Everyone’s sniggering at you. The lecturers, the robots, the questions and the two hours.
Well, I’ve got exams in two weeks and thus far most of what I’m reading doesn’t seem to be making much sense. Physics is a really annoying topic. Space time continuum. Not as much fun as Star trek makes it. Physics has the ability to ruin Natures miracles.
An apple fell from a tree. Nice and yummy you would think.
Toss in physics and all of a sudden you have gravity and a whole bunch of vector and scalar forces to contend with.
Why not just let the damn apple be?
Jack had sex with Jill.
a. Calculate the velocity of his forward thrust.
b. How long doe he have to maintain this speed to ensure she has a 5 minute long orgasm if the temperature of the room is at 32c.
c. Given Jack’s proclivities to sadomasochism , piercing and heavy spanking during sex how fast will it take Jill to get her clothes on, grab her purse and run out of the room?
Why wouldn’t I feel depressed?
Midst my woes and confusion I had a fight with one of my ex girlfriends.
I realize that I haven’t really mentioned much about my past relationships. Maybe it’s cos they’re not something I like to dwell on much. Maybe it’s cos I like to respect the privacy and memories of my relationships. A gentleman never kisses and tells. That sort of thing.
The girl in question was my first girlfriend. An extremely lovely and high spirited lady. We dated for about 7 months and then split up. Thinking back now, I realize that maybe we never should have dated. It ‘s the same old story. We were so great as friends we thought that we had enough to make the transition to something more.
We were wrong
So we had a fight.
She accused of me not having moved on, Which hurt, And of saying things about her behind her back. Derogatory and hurtful things. That hurt even more.
I’ve always been told by my friends, male and female, that I am too nice a person.
People are going to take advantage of you eventually. My mum always told me. Till then I’ll just be the only one who does.
I think people have only taken advantage of you if their actions harm you in some negative way. What might be okay with one person might be sufficient reason for another to grab a biro and stab you with it. It’s all relative. As long as they don’t harm me, I’m okay with what they do. So what if they borrowed my bottle of perfume and never returned it. I don’t mind. I’m like that. If I did mind I wouldn’t have allowed them take it in the first place.
Don’t all rush to my closet at once.
It hurt me terribly that she (my ex) would believe that I did say things about her behind her back. Particularly since they weren’t true. I tried to convince her that the stories she heard were false. That I hadn’t said anything derogatory about her. She didn’t believe me.
As far as she was concerned I was an ass of a boyfriend.
I said bad stuff about her.
I was responsible for 9/11 and the death of the dinosaurs.
See you later Johnny Cochrane.
Why are people quick to believe the worst about other people? Why are acts of kindness frowned upon with suspicion and act of callousness accepted without criticism. Why are humans so quick to believe the worst of their neighbors? Has humanity degraded so far that benevolence is now perceived as alien?
I don’t know.
I think maybe in the end humans feel more comfortable with misdeeds. It’ human to be imperfect. To have flaws. My last girlfriend had one major problem with me. I was too understanding. Whenever she did something wrong, or we had an argument, I always understood her reason. I never had problems forgiving her. It worried her a lot. I think she felt like she was taking advantage of me. But she wasn’t. Not in any way.
Are human fundamentally greedy?
I guess that’s life’s riddle for you.
We might finally be one small village but humans still don’t understand each other. Story of our existence.
I feel sorry for all those aliens locked up in their war rooms planning on strategies to take over our world. They’re in for a big surprise. We’re hardly the Garden of Eden.
Okay I feel much better. I don’t feel like the complete idiot that I thought I was this morning.
The kind of guy who sits and stares fixedly at a pack of orange juice just because he saw the word “concentrate”.
That kind of guy?
No I feel better.
What this most welcoming of news means is I do not have an excuse not to return to studying.
It’s back to the physics textbooks for me.
All those annoying theories and equation. Hamiltons principle. Schroedinger's equation. Derivatives of derivative. Years and years of Newtonian dialogue. So many annoyingly difficult quesitons.
Jack is still there.
This time he has Jill ,Mary and little Miss muffet.