Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Date




Forgive me.
I have been so so busy.
This is not even a real post.
I wrote this story last year and decided to post it to fill for my silence.
I miss you all.


I was in love with Michelle Adebayo Halima Okoronkwo.
No, her name didn’t bother me one bit, which is one way I sensed my love was sincere.
This wasn’t some infatuation. I totally loved her. I dreamt of her when I watched the evening news. I smiled at her image as I brushed my teeth. When I put ketchup on my fries I squirted out her name all over my plate and stared in hungered lust. Yes I was in love with her. So when she said yes to my suggestion of a date I nodded my head, asked to be excused, wobbled to the bathroom and then screamed.

I was in euphoria until the night of the date. I whistled through the office. Sang in the toilet. I gave my boss a big hug on the way out. I hi-fived the Motor bike riders on the road whenever I got to a traffic light. And helped the PHCN men, who came to cut my power lines, carry the ladder to their car. Ah. Too be in love. All was going well until the hour before my meeting with my date. I walked out of the bathroom singing “Hapuya like that”.
And then my world fell apart.

What does one wear to a date? My last date had been ages ago. I couldn’t remember what I wore. I’d been more interested in getting out of the clothes anyway. I stood in front of the mirror in my boxers and pretended that I didn’t know that I knew that I was sucking in my stomach.
What to wear? I could wear a T-shirt and a pair of jeans but would that spell being too casual? Would she think I was some unserious bloke who took our date just as flippantly?
I tossed the t-shirt aside. Perhaps not.
I gave a long look at my tuxedo. Wasn’t a tux something you only wore for a wedding? If I wore that for our date wouldn’t I be going overboard? Besides If I did wear a tux and somehow got lucky tonight would it turn out very uncomfortable when we got around to more than kissing?
I reconsidered.
Maybe I should wear something native.
Some Senegalese outfit perhaps. Would that be wrong?
Would she consider me ....Razz?
I looked at my football jersey. What if she wasn’t a Chelsea fan? There were a few of those.
Sigh.
I kept on trying different outfits. None of them seemed quite right. Some were too loud. Too bland. Too casual. Too daring. Too dirty. Too many holes.
The clock kept ticking.
What was I going to wear?
Eventually I decided to pick the first two things that my hands touched in the heap.

Ten minutes later I was at our rendezvous point-Her home. She answered the door wearing a lovely little black dress that did wonders for her figure.
“Lovely outfit.” I said.
“Thank you.”She replied with a smile and then shut the door behind her.
She looked at me. “Yours too.”
I nodded my head in satisfaction.
Not from the compliment but from what I had seen.
Just before she shut the door I had glimpsed a pile of clothes similar to the one I had left in my house. Two piles actually.
The bigger one was clothes.
The smaller one looked suspiciously like lingerie!

32 comments:

Shubby Doo said...

1st..just going back to read

Shubby Doo said...

awww...

30+ said...

And I thought I would be first :(

30+ said...

Simple and Nice

Well being 3rd is not bad

UndaCovaSista said...

just marking my spot...back in a mo'

UndaCovaSista said...

Nice to know that the male of the species also suffer the same neuroses...albeit, on a much reduced level.
@30+ - you were second, shubby was being naughty, hogging 2 spots...

onydchic said...

In ur mind... lingerie??

Shubby Doo said...

@30+ - jo...ma binu

@UCS – lol...I think the only one being naughty was the ‘thought’ running through his (possibly dirty) mind at the sight of lingerie! Abi carlang?!

@carlang...hmmm...albeit lingerie...could be it was just one of her piles of dirty washing!

miz-cynic said...

IM NEXTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!lovely post but wht happened next now.dont put us in suspense now

bumight said...

I'm glad you know this is not a real post :)

and I'm suspecting that you picked a shirt with a blazer on Jeans, with loafers?

yeah, like shubby said, maybe the pile of lingerie was dirty laundry? lol!

Naapali said...

And helped the PHCN men, who came to cut my power lines, carry the ladder to their car.

- Love was perhaps never better stated.

I am waiting to hear from you.

Jaycee said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.......I'm cracking up real bad. It is SO true...I am not even gonna deny because I fall in the category of such mess!

"...helped the PHCN men, who came to cut my power lines, carry the ladder to their car... This Halima babe must have been the ish! Carlang, is this fiction? Lol...

Jaycee said...

I'm beginning to think I'm a like-minded soul as Naapali...we extracted the same funny lines...lol.

Temite said...

That was truly delightful. Awwww he was nervous, love does that to you sometimes. Maybe the pile of dirty clothes was the clothes she had just taken off for her 3 customers that day... (I couldnt halp it). Tools of trade, if you catch my drift.

Zena said...

"And helped the PHCN men, who came to cut my power lines, carry the ladder to their car. Ah. Too be in love" that was so cute, u see, u had nothing to worry about at all,

this was so cute

Tigeress said...

lol! that was funny. So you men do feel this way too? Sweet! :) So what did you end up wearing? And as for the lingerie- i hope that wasn't ur imagination running.......

Nice blog btw. :)

isha said...

LOL!!! Mehn, I love the way you write mehn. Don't be disappearing on me like that o. lol.

rethots said...

Hmmm, food for thot. What to wear?
But then, it needn't matter.......she must have loved what you wore (heart) to have dared to agree for a date.

How went it?

LusciousRon said...

So men go through phases like this, hahaha!

Temite which customers?

Carl let us know what happened next

CaramelD said...

Kindly come back soon. You have left us for far too long.

PS I had no idea that men had clothing crisis too!

Jarrai said...

lol...thats refreshing to know that you men also have clothes crises....

So how was the date? or is this fiction???

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Who would've known that men also worry about what to wear on a first date?

fantasy queen said...

all i can think of is what he ended up wearing. not the jersey and senegalise pants i hope.

Iwalewa McDaniels said...

lingerie...so might end up lucky that night.

geisha.song. said...

such an incomplete story.
such a cop out.
such a non post.

i demand a written continuation of this story!

Lost at The End said...

Hello Carl,

Just to say thank you for stopping by my blog.

Cool story!

rayo said...

hmmmn, cant help wonderin what went on after

~Sirius~ said...

LMAO!!!!! Heaps "r" us
so what? you were happy when you figured she had two battles to conquer before she decided she had the right amour, while you had only one.

N.I.M.M.O said...

Almost doesn't count. This is not a post.

We demand a real post.


Or a continuation of this one. Haba!

Vera Ezimora said...

I have been tryna leave a comment on this blog for AGES!!!

...hopefully this one goes thru

Lady Koko said...

buhahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!1 NOW THIS WAS CRAZY!!!!!!! LMAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOAT THE SUGGESTION OF PILE OF LINGERIE BEING DIRRRTY LAUNDRY!!!!!! i wonder how many guys must have come to the house b4 u! lol
p.s:xoxo

AnyaPosh said...

aww... so what happened afterwards? and what did u end up wearing? I haven't read the other comments, so you may have already answered those questions. I'm going to read now.