Psophie and I

I’m in a relationship with my PSP .

Little black gadget created by one of those aliens in Sony’s laboratory. This little gizmo does almost everything. Plays music. Mp3, WMA ,Atrac....er….It plays music. It’s got a gorgeous little screen for showing movies which is much better than that of the iPod or Microsoft’s laudable Zune. It’s got Wi-Fi technology which means I can browse with it if I want to. There’s also a super cool EBook reader for the over 1000 eBooks I have. And finally the amazing games.

What’s not to love in the relationship?

I call my PSP , Sophie (spelt Psophie. see?).We’ve been going out for ..oh..the last five months.

Our relationship started about 13 hours after my last girlfriend dumped me.
Well maybe “dumped” is too strong a word. She didn’t dump me. We’d been going through a rough spell .One day we had a talk and she confessed that she didn’t see any respite ahead. To that end she asked that we call it quits. I gave it some thought and agreed with her.
Irreconcilable differences.

I had tears in my eyes.
Sad.
I’ll miss you. Last kiss. Sniff sniff. Hug. Hug.
The next morning I got my PSP . My Psophie.

For the next one week I completely forgot that I had just broken up with a girl I had actually considered marrying. I spent days and nights playing different games on my wonderful machine. When I got tired of being beaten by the only person that can these days, my oldest friend Ayo, I would lie down and listen to music and when I got tired of that I would read a novel and when I got tired of that….

Life was good.

Three days later my ex girlfriend sent me a text.
Nothing fancy. Not some lengthy reel of spoken love, circumstances despite. Nope. It was just a short simple text with four words written.

I hate your PSP .

It stunned me.
Not the message, but the reason behind it.

I hadn’t noticed time fly by. For the first time since I had discovered sex and relationships I had been saved the day of moaning and pondering that always followed a break up. I had simply segued into a new life with no hiccups thanks to my darling psophie. My transition had been so smooth that I had actually forgotten to call my exgirlfriend. Something I had done religiously for almost a year.

I had found my quick fix pill. Some people go shopping to cheer themselves up after a break up.Some burn love letters. Others go on a drinking binge. Some go for short daring rebounds. Wild sex in wilder locations.
And some, like little simple crazy me, just play with their PSP s.

I picked up my phone.
I sent her a reply promising to call her soon.
I went back to my PSP .

I eventually called her two months later.