Thursday, October 29, 2009

The camel's back

I’m lying on the floor and typing this. Andromeda says I must have superhuman powers because she does not understand how I can possible spend as long as I do on my laptop in the position that I currently am.
I simply smile at her and get back to work. This after all is my life for the next week.
I have been ordered to lie down for the rest of the week.
It happened on Sunday.

The anniversary weekend was coming on great. Saturday had been a blast. We spent the entire day watching romantic movies whilst nibbling out of a bag filled with all sorts of junk. When I got tired of nibbling on those I would nibble on her. It was fun. Simple. The world’s truest definition of a balanced diet.
Much later on in the evening I took her to some restaurant which a friend of hers had assured me was her favourite. We had a lovely time—even when she pointed out to me that I was using my salad fork the wrong way and that I was holding it in the wrong hand. I pointed out to her that because I was seating opposite her, my left hand was located on her right side. She gasped at her mistake and looked really mortified.
I suspect she realizes how cute she is when she does that.
Saturday was fun. Saturday night was even more so. The trouble all began on Sunday morning.

We were getting ready for church. Andromeda was adamant about it. We might be having an anniversary weekend but no way were we going to miss out on stopping by to say hi to Jesus. I wisely did not complain and went about getting ready. I checked the mirror to make sure my hair was brushed and there were no visible smears of lipstick or love bites on my face. Everything looked okay.

I was just bending down to tie my shoe lace when it happened. I sneezed. It was a pretty serious sneeze as sneezes go. The kind you would expect to have if you were tied down and had pepper sprinkled into your nose with a pinch of thyme. My back certainly agreed because immediately after the sneeze I felt a sharp tear in my lower back. Two seconds later I was sprawled on the floor groaning in pain.
For those of you who are curious—No! There is nothing amusing about rolling about the hotel room floor with only one shoe on.

After Andromeda was convinced that I was really in pain and not trying to escape going to church she called a doctor friend of mine to quickly solicit his medical advice. My friend went through the discussion of how I felt and where the pain was located. After a pause he finally offered his medical opinion.
“I think you’ve slipped a disk Carlang.” He waited for another half a second before asking me the question “So how did it happen again?”
I took time to go through the whole motion of events. Me. My shoe lace. I bend. A sneeze. Roaring pain. I could feel him nod on the other end of the phone.
“A sneeze you say.” He sighed. “Nice try.”
His voice grew even lower as he asked me “Now tell me seriously. What did Andromeda do to you?”

Everyone has been asking me the same question all week.

70 comments:

Myne Whitman said...

LWKMD!

The question should be, what were you trying to do to Andromeda?

Pele sha...

mizchif said...

Pele. Soweee Carl.

After a blissful saturday.
Hope you feel much better soon.

fantasy queen said...

i'm guessing i shouldnt be loling @ this as funny as it is:)

get well soon.

Repressed One said...

LOL!! first time here and the fact that you call your boo 'Andromeda' is hilariously cute!!

...sorry about your back. Hope you get to feeling better soon.

Repressed One said...

...Oh and Happy Anniversary!! :)

misspumping said...

first time around

eeeya hope you get better soon

Shubby Doo said...

Lol...your Straw was a sneeze?! A sneeze ke...this guy u no serious...dude u better tell the truth here o...*whispers* oya confess ;)

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

firtsly, heehee
secondly, pele
thirdly, welcome back.

Quaggar said...

LMAO! Sorry abt the slipped disk, but there's gotta be more to the story. A sneeze and a shoelace? seriously?

Myne Whitman said...

Just heard of your commendation from the commenwealth. Kudos

Carlang said...

@Carl: You're actually going to write a reply to the comments? Fancy that. You really must be coming back!

@Mynewhitman: Me? Do to her? Nothing. I dont think i tried to do anything to Andromeda that she wasnt legally and naturally equipped to handle..
I think.
Who told you of the commonwealth commendation?
Darn it! I was trying to keep that quiet.
lol.
I'll have to mention it in my next blog.. if i blog...


@Mizchif:
Thanks dear. It's glad to know someone cares.

@Fantasy queen: You're guessing right. Psseuuuuu!
I think i'm getting better though. I finally took of the sock today.

@Repressed one: Well, the reason i call her that is because she is cute.
It's not because she is destined to be sacrificed to the legendary Kraken.
Although sometimes I wonder about that...
And happy anniversary to you too.

@misspumping: Thanks dear. I do feel better

@ Shubby Doo: Confess? Confess?
Too what exactly?
What could I possibly have been trying to do to her?
What gave you that idea that.....
My God. Shubby Doo..
What has he been doing to YOU?

@Solomomsydelle
Welcome back? I wouldnt go that far. I never reallly left anyways...
lol

@ Quaggar:
Yes. Everyone keeps telling me the same thing. i'm beginning to suspect that there is more to the story.
Maybe, just maybe.... I sneezed twice?..
Yes, That just might be it...

@Mynewhitman: Who spilled? You better start talking missy!

isha said...

Pele o. I hope you're feeling a lot better now. Don't mind them jo, I believe your story... Lol.

Have a good week of rest. (i'm so jealous)

N.I.M.M.O said...

Dude!

Sneeze indeed.

So what did Andromeda do to you?

Or vice versa.

bumight said...

so the real question is: "are you going to answer the question anytime soon?"

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...

i had to read this twice. like seriously? where is the rest of the story? sneeze? shoe lace? slipped disc? parraps d disc had slipped d nite before and u didnt realise? i am cracking up!

Thirty + said...

Okay, I think you confessed once about delayed reaction....by interpolation and extrapolation you need to rewind back to analyse your previous acrobatics, therein lies your answer.

Tee hee hee, sowy o.

Ms Sula said...

It's so good to read you again Carlang!! As I closed my now defunct blog I was doing an ad mortem for the blogs I used to go to... and then BAM! You updated!!!

You are hilarious as ever... but like the others said, oya please tell the whole story... A shoe lace? A shoe lace really? Come with the truth!!! :lol:

Glad to read you as always.

QMoney said...

Seriously,i couldnt just help but comment...........u crack me up too much all d time
A friend discovered me on ur blog cos of a laughing term i used and i promised i will never comment on ur blog again but u are wayyyyyyyyyyyy too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!
Andromedia ko....oya,send me a list of the movies so i can watch with my own andrePrint.....was my name creative?lol

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

a sneeze carl????

hmm try again.....

this time keep a straight face.

umm u wish...

bArOquE said...

this is not even funny, slip disk? so sorry man...i have had back issues, & recently too (the reasson why i was away from gym for 2months)...
for me to have seen an osteopath it was that bad, Dr.Cram (can never forget a name like that), i prayed he was not gonna mention anything about disks...
yours must be really bad because the guy asked me if i felt any pain when i coughed or sneezed?..
sittin in buses, planes or cars was a pain, & i had not the time to sit at a place...
meanwhile, i hear once the disk has slipped, it can slip again...
i hope Andromeda is taking good care of this old camel's back

Catwalq said...

Update jare...yeye old man. I still love you tho'. Andromeda can have you for now...

Afrobabe said...

Lmao….Yep, the right conclusion me thinks..

But honestly, you sure it was a sneeze or is that code for…you know sleazy,snezzy,shaggy dos?

ablackjamesbond said...

lol...if you had been taking shepz [aka shepe, opa eyin] am sure that disk would still be in place now. Pele. But really, what did she do to you?

Jaycee said...

Carl...you need to resume. :)

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Shubby Doo said...

i cannot believe u never came back. happy new year (yeah it still counts in march cos it's the thought that counts)

hope 2010 is treating you well funny man!

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Happy new year! You sure there's no interesting-ness you should have shared on ur blog by now?

Anywho - http://ishashotgist.blogspot.com/2010/04/excuse-me-stud-indulge-me.html. You may have a few words for that.

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anyways me-thinks this is the story to be told to grade1 pupils inplace of "the boy who cried wolf"....carlang.i'll say nothing more

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知識可以傳授,智慧卻不行。每個人必須成為他自己。......................................................................

Afrobabe said...

dammm is this not the 2nd time this back is doing this to you???

Hope you are good...

Nutty J. said...

hahahaha...first time here and I can not help laughing out loud

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