Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Tag?



Tagging is like a season. Once every year it rears its head and stays long enough for us to notice its presence. Off the familiar four seasons, it is perhaps a bit, attribute wise, more like the rain season. It is almost impossible to go through the entire season (rain) without getting a bit wet. Eventually, no matter how hard you try, sooner or later, given enough time and mistakes, you get caught in a drizzle.
Darkelcee is responsible for my drizzle. She has knocked a hole in my tagging Umbrella, letting in the unforgiving rain. I am now left half drenched, shivering from the shock of the ambush and clear as to my actions hereinafter.
For those of you new to Blogsville consider this your orientation course in Tagging. Tagging pretty much explains itself. Someone makes you it. He or She then proceeds to tell you what being it entails—Usually some order to write a piece on something—and you are duty bound thereafter to do, with an allowed slight grumble, it.
The plus side? After you have completed the task given you, you automatically are handed the all powerful wand to order other people around in the guise of tagging.
Which brings me to the rather important question.
Does anyone know what Angelina Jolie’s blog ID is?

So with my permitted grumble (grumble) I shall now start on a list I have been ordered to write.
6 insignificant quirks about me….or something like that.


1) I love the feel of water on my body. Most of the time after a shower I only dry of enough to leave pearls of cooling water on my skin. I follow this by standing beneath the fan whilst I pretend that I don’t know that I’m sucking in my stomach.

2) I smile a lot. Most people have another 60 years to go before the consider botox. At the rate I’m smiling I’ll need them in another 10 years. People are so used to me smiling that they immediately get concerned when they don’t see a smile on my face.
Is everything okay? A girl asked me last week. Why aren’t you smiling?
I rubbed my eyes slowly, blinked wearily at her and announced the obvious.
Because I’m sleeping!

3) I haven’t been sick in over 6 years.
Malaria? Typhoid? The flu? All them familiar ailments that get you into bed? I seem to keep missing them. I’ve been really lucky. I spend nights supporting local parties for mosquitoes.This happens every now and then and yet apart from a slight paleness and bumps on my skin I come through okay. Lately though I have become sceptical of my immunity. Am I being set up for a much larger fall? One of those named syndromes that are incurable?
Like an Addiction to Blogging?

4) Years ago I had big plans of being rich and famous. I would have loads of apartments, lots of extremely sexy and horny girlfriends 10 cars, one jet and 15 power bikes. In preparation for this finale I sat down deliberating the one quote that would be used to immortalize me. I sat down trying to compose some insightful line that would be mine.
After 2 years I finally agreed on the self made quote.
Life would be so much easier if life was easy
Carlang Tjjkityreyer.

That was years ago. I was pretty stupid and dumb back then, blinded by the irrationality of youth. Now off course, I have realised the errors of my past dreams and revised them accordingly.
I want 16 cars, 2 jets and 20 power bikes. One for each of my Latin American girlfriends.

5) I bite my tongue. Playfully. Not the deep, I’m trying to commit suicide kind. I don’t think it’s terribly attractive because people ask me every now and then why I do it.
Come to think about it.
Why do I do it?

6) I’m slow to anger. When I do get angry I never yell or rave. I just walk away , Usually I wait till I’m completely calm and logical before I bring up what annoyed me.
It’s a simple Approach.
“Hey. I hear Iron Man is finally here. Let’s go watch the movie. Yes I’ll drive. By the way Steve I was pretty pissed last week over what you said….”
That sort of approach? Yes. That’s how I usually handle fights. It walks great with my friends but it almost always backfired with my past girlfriends. They almost always complained that they didn’t like it when I refused to get dragged into a fighting contest of words. Once one of my exes rushed to the door and locked it before I could leave.
Pent up emotions, pulse racing, her breast rising and falling with her panting. I suppose seeking an Orgasm was the only logical solution.


So I guess that’s it. Tag assignment done. In turn I am tagging the following bloggers.
Fantasy queen, Hengish , Lightly , Bumight, Jeff and Angelina Jolie.
There really is no point groaning about it . To recant what a very important man once said
“If I was told I had 8 minutes to live , I’d write a little faster.” (Issac Asimov.)
When it snows make snowmen, so quit whining and start writing. Tagging is like the seasons. It’s here to stay and no amount of cursing or swearing is going to make it go away. Most of the time, things in life don’t go our way but there is no helping it.
It is like another very important man once said.

Life would be so much easier if life was easy.

28 comments:

UndaCovaSista said...

I'm smokin'.....

UndaCovaSista said...

...or stalkin' as the case may be.

UndaCovaSista said...

Well, well, well...what do latin american girls have that we naija chics don't, eh? No, dont answer that actually. As far as i'm concerned, if Josh Holloway rode up on a Harley, took off his crash helmet, shook his blond locks, flashed me his Sawyer-esque lazy grin and drawled 'Hope on board, sweet cheeks', you better believe i'm gone!
*shakes head and snaps out of reverie*

Back to your post...well (2) and (6) dont surprise me, as your warm, easy-going personality comes across in your writing :)
As for (5), me i've never heard of death by tongue bite before o!

Interesting, all in all...

bumight said...

your tags are always interesting to read, and you always tag me!
however, this time, by telepathy I sensed it, and i did the tag today, who knows? we might have been doing it at the same time

wait! does that make us soulmates!

Eureka!! I've found my blog-tag-soulmate!!!

Jaycee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jaycee said...

LOLLL @ ur explanation of TAGGING for the newbies!

The feelings of pearls of cooling water on ur skin...lolll. I like that too. So from that information I see that u're a FISH!!! (U like water, eh?)

It's a good thing u haven't fallen sick. Just keep boosting ur immunity (unfortunately, it's true that ur downfall maybe an addiction to BLOGGING! Lol).

"Life would be so much easier if life was easy." Carlang Tjjkityreyer. HA HA HA......of course it would!!! Lol, e no dey easy to become millionaire o. But u'll get there if u keep trying...nothing is impossible!

Lighty has already been tagged...lol

darkelcee said...

you love the feel of water on your body but not in your mouth?

no 2 & 6? could it be that you are out avoiding been thrashed as you cant fight? lollll

Carlang is gentle
Gentle Carlang
Carlang Gentle
.......( repeating that so that it can stick.lollll)

Ms Sula said...

Only you could make tagging this funny!

Hilarious!!

And Congrats to Undacova... you really are everywhere... first! :)

Naapali said...

2) I smile a lot.

- Mama Carlang looked at her baby boy, he was barely an hour old, and still had that shriveled head and crinkly skin that all newborns do. His face however was glowing with a toothless smile. She could not be sure if it was at his finally being freed from his bizarre incarceration or from the sight of the breast he had just finished sucking dry. She turned to Baba Carlang and said, "since you have chosen his first name, I name him Ismaila. He will always smile for us."

Nine said...

ROFLMAO@Naapali.
I now dub thee Ismaila *chortle*

Lol @ no 6.A comedian once stated that the one rule in his house was that if he and his wife were getting into a fight,they got naked.And he kept starting fights;)

Smaragd said...

Undacova, now i'm stalking u! watch out cuz i'm totally STEALTH...lol

Napaali, Ismaila ke? why not Smilopoulos (greek),or sth more exotic like Mr 2p miniskirt? Carl, do sth or this name myt just stick.

Isnt standing with water droplets on ur body in front of a fan somewhat arousing? just checking

Hmm, am usually wary of people who smile all the time? i cant put my finger on the reason, maybe cuz i keep a straight face most of the time or the fact that i think the smiles hide sth.

I'm out!

Free-flowing Florida said...

u know u r d man after my heart, carlang, don't u. if only ..... but it's all good. love ur quirks. very interesting. i think i'd hate a bf dat doesn't argue too. i mean, wtf. am i being worked up 4 nothing? can't u see u f-ed up? can't u @ least explain ur damn self? blah blah blah. bottom-line, he'd make me look like d trouble-maker & no1 likes dat

& oh, wen u do get angelina jolie's blog do tell me. i wanna know wot she saw in brad pitt anyways. what, does he have a big thing??????

Today's ranting said...

Interesting stuff!

UndaCovaSista said...

@ms sula - Lol! I wonder what it says about how much time i apparently have on my hands...hmmmm

@smaragd - i clocked you way back from Naapali's blog. I watching you missy. I.AM.WATCHING.YOU. lOL..

Afrobabe said...

lol...yep naaplai got it well....Carlang Ismaila..Tjjjj (something something)

shalewa said...

@napali,ismaila.lol

@carl,u don't get angry quickly.u shud be my assistant.

theicequeen said...

@naapali l.m.a.o ismaila??lololol..carlang, im sorry, but ismaila will forever pop up whenever i come here..

now, about liking water on your body, how do you feel about rain? running in it and similar antics?? :D

and this suicide by tongue biting..thats dedication innit?? lol!

Uzezi said...

laughing at number 4, and number 6 is very good. dont call it a quirk

ablackjamesbond said...

LMAO @ naapali...Ismaila Carlang Smilopoulos...very funny

i like anyone who can control their temper.

Lighty said...

u know when i saw u tagged me. i was sooo happy i had done it. ha ha ha.

so u smile even in ur sleep. carlang r u smiling now?

av u finally gotten ur letter?

fantasy queen said...

did my tag already mister.

lets go see iron man when its showin(scratching my head to figure if i've annoyed you ever, dont want no casual...'hey, i hate what you ....speech)

sucking in your stomach, so i'm guessing you're staring in the mirror as you cool off under the fan. maybe theres the rehearshed lines of 'my name is carl...carlang' then the smile...

when you get rich. well you know the drill. i may be no latin american but i can act the part good.

bighead said...

I've been away from yur blog for months and on returning, I hasn't changed one bit-yu still very hilarious

fantasy queen said...

hey, just discovered angelina jolies blog name...what you willing to give for that?

Smaragd said...

Come on Carl, update already! else i'll start calling u Ismaila for real!

pretty plese? i need a laff, seriously, a bit moody today.

Uzezi said...

passing by for stuff to read

Aijay said...

LOL!!! This was a funny post.
My immune system rocks too!

guerreiranigeriana said...

why should you be sucking in your stomach?...ruined my image of you standing naked, with pearls of water covering your body, eyes closed, enjoying the cool air...and although you said you were sucking in, i kept picturing the moments when you were sucking in and what that must look like...not a good look...omo, go and exercise o!!....

...suicide by tongue biting?...for where?...

...laughing out loud at the latin american girlfriends...so, you would only want them from south america?...always thought of you as more of a flavorful guy...with so many flavors, you just want south american?..

...hilarious post...

Onome said...

hehehehehe likin' ur quirks bro but wat wit da tongue biting???? hmmmm and i expected to see 20 cars not 16? and only 20mexican chics??? how many power bikes will u have for urself???