Saturday, August 9, 2008

Do Geese see God?



I could count the veins on her face.
Her skin glistened with a mixture of body oils and sweat. She had been screaming obscenities for half an hour but the last one minute it seemed like her voice had gone unbelievably higher. Her eyes were red with the fury, strain and pain from her exertions. She didn’t even have the strength to cry anymore.
She looked directly at me and screamed one loud word.
“Fuck!”
I felt my face go flush.
It started from my neck and crept into my head before settling itself firmly on my cheeks. I didn’t have a mirror but I knew how I looked to all who could see. My pale face was a perfect canvas for the bright Rudy blush on my cheek. I sighed sadly to myself. This wasn’t working out very well. I seemed to be making a mess out of everything.
I didn’t need to read the manual to know this was an uncalled for reaction.
I was not supposed to blush.
Angels didn’t blush.

“She can’t see you, you know.” A voice said from behind me.
I didn’t turn around to look. I knew already who was speaking. There were only two angels in the room. One was blushing and the other wasn’t me.
I felt him glide and stop beside me. He watched the screaming woman with a soft smile.
“Enjoying yourself, Mourinho?” Angel Legna asked with a chuckle.
I turned even redder and closed my eyes with irritation.
For those of you new to my world the following gleaned information is correct.
Yes I am an Angel and yes my name (as far as this story is concerned) is Mourinho.
The following though is incorrect.
I wasn’t enjoying myself.
I looked at the straining woman in front of me and sighed. Being an Angel was hard enough work.Understanding humans just made it a lot harder.
“She’s in pain.” I observed.
The Angel standing beside me nodded.
“She could die.” I said.
“Yes. It’s a possibility. We’re here to make sure that doesn’t happen.” He raised his eyes to the skies. “Unless otherwise ordered.”
I stared at the groaning woman in confusion. Her pain was so strong it seemed to take a viral life of its own. Infecting everyone around with some degree of her torment. I wanted it to come to an end. Soon. Even if it meant us taking her home early.
“She could have avoided this.” I asked quietly. “She actually chose to go through with this?”
“Yes. “Legna asserted. He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. I had only recently been transferred to earth. Nigeria to be exact. Legna was my Orientation supervisor. For the next one week he was supposed to put me through the basics and help me adjust to life with humans. He had been really patient thus far.
“You don’t understand I see.” He said.
He was correct this time.
No, I didn’t.

I had only been on earth for a week and already my head was spinning from the weird traditions and decisions of humans. This was one of them.
Why did humans enjoy smoking knowing how dangerous it was?
Why did some humans like Dogs and others love Cats?
Why did they laugh and cry at the same time?
And just who exactly voted Obasanjo in as president?
Humans were a confusing bundle of exhibited oddities which lasted only long enough to startle you before they were replaced with even more startling displays of quirkiness.
“The last one week, can’t have been that bad” Legna said with a laugh.”Surely you’ve come across something that you enjoy.”
I brightened at that.
“Well. I did come across a delightful little creature. Every evening when I’m free. I sit down with it and I listen to it sing. It’s got one of the most beautiful voices I have heard. Almost as nice as the voices I sang with in the choir.”
“You’re exaggerating.” Legna said with a laugh.
I smiled. Admitting that I was.
“But it does have a lovely little voice. I could listen to it forever. “
“FUCK. FUCK.CHRIST. FUCK!”
We both winced.
I looked up quickly expecting to see a thunderbolt. The ceiling fan remained undamaged.
Across us one of the Midwives rubbed a Damp flannel cloth over her face. She softly brushed her hair back.
“You’re doing okay.” She crooned. “We can see the baby now. Take a deep breath and push.”
“It’s going well” Legna said in a satisfied tone.
I looked across at the straining woman surrounded by a Doctor and Midwives. It didn’t look like it was going well. Her breath was racing. Her face contorted in reflection of her pain.
And what was that between her legs?

“Palindromes.” Legna said.
“What?” I said in shock.
“Palindromes.” He repeated. He flapped his wings and floated softly into the air. “Do you know what they are?”
I looked up at him uncomfortably. He was dangerously close to the fan. Although I knew I was being unreasonably, I wondered what would happen if he flew into the fan.
“Of course I do. They’re sentences that read the same way forward or backwards. Like the sentence. Dennis Sinned. It’s the same thing if you read it backwards.” I said.
He smiled.
Dennis sinned”. That’s a nice example. Almost as nice as “Madam. I’m Adam!” Although in that one you have to take the spaces into consideration. No X in Nixon. That’s another nice one.” He thought for a second. “A Toyota. Race fast. Safe Car. A Toyota.
I looked at him
“What?”
“A palindrome. That’s another palindrome. Read it backwards and it still means the same thing.” He said explaining.
“I know that.” I sighed. Just because I was formerly a seraph everyone thought I was slow. “What’s that? A Toyota?”
“Oh…Right. I forgot you’ve only been on earth for a week.” He slowly soared down. “Well. A Toyota is sort of like a Chariot. Without the flaming horses. But it moves. Really fast. Human speed that is.”
“A chariot without horses?” I asked slowly.
“ Yeah. It’s called a car actually.”
“Oh!” I snapped “Why didn’t you say so. I know what a car is. I had an orientation class before coming to Nigeria.”
Legna Laughed.
“My sincere Apologies.” He landed beside me and we watched the woman for a while. I looked on with rising concern. Whatever was between her legs, it was growing. Her screams were unbelievably loud now. My feathers twitched nervously. This was going on well?
“You were wrong you know.”
“What?” I asked startled. I wondered how Legna could remain so calm. The woman was being killed right in front of me by that….thing!
“About Palindromes. They’re not just sentences you can read backwards. They’re can also be words. Like the word Gag. Or the place Aba.”
“Aba. That’s here in Nigeria right?”
“Yes. Interesting place. It’s close to Port Harcourt which is another interesting place. The way things are going over in Port we might send you there really soon. Last week local Militants kidnapped an Angel.”
“What?” I gasped out loud. I looked around quickly. The doctors and Midwives hadn’t heard me. The woman seemed to be looking at me though.
FUCK ME!” She screamed.
Legna laughed.
“I’m joking about the kidnapping. “ He said.
“Er…. Okay.” I said. My face was doing the red thing again. I looked nervously at the woman. I wondered if…
“She can’t see you.” Legna said again with a chuckle. “You’re just in her line of sight.”
I nodded wearily. I didn’t want to move. The view here was fantastic. And whatever that thing was it now had hands.
I sighed to myself and looked at Legna.
“You were saying? About Palindromes.”I muttered.
Legna nodded in approval.
“Right. It’s not only words that can be Palindromic in nature. Numbers as well can. Like the sequence 1234321. That’s a Palindrome. Same thing in Music.”
“Ah! Music.” I said delighted. I had been a member of the Seraph choir for the last five thousand years before my sudden deployment to earth. If there was anything I was good at, it was music. At least I thought I was. I didn’t know who the singer Lil Wayne was or why he would want to sing about his Lollipop but I did think the music was Catchy.
It was strange. But Catchy.
“Yes Music. Do re mi fa so la ti do. Do ti la so fa mi re do? That’s a palindrome right there.”
“Yes….Er… Yes it is.”I said. My feathers had gone from nervous twitching to full out vibrations. I hoped I wasn’t shedding. Legna could chat all he want but I was beginning to freak out. There was half a body hanging out of the woman. This was more depressing than watching Abraham try to count his children. I closed my eyes.
Lena’s soothing voice came into my ear.
“It’s okay Mourinho. It’s almost over now. Calm down.”
Calm down. I told myself. Legna was right. There was nothing to worry about. If anything bad was going to happen. We were here to stop it. We were Angels. We were here for a reason.
And then out of the blues the reason cried.
I opened my eyes.
The Doctor had a baby in his hands. A beautiful beautiful baby. Her eyes were closed but her mouth was wide open as she screamed her first words. I listened to the baby cry and I knew without looking that my face was bright red again. I hoped I didn’t break out into happy tears. I seemed to be breaking all the Angel laws.
I looked at Legna. He had a satisfied smile on his face. His face looked like there was a blush on it but that was probably just my red haze confusing me. He bobbed up and down in place. His wings flapping slowly.
He nodded at me and pointed to the woman.
I looked and I saw.
I saw a Miracle.

She was beautiful.
Beautiful. True; her face still glistened from the sheen of her exertion and her hair was a tousled mess where it wasn’t plasterd against her skin. But in the center of it all was a lovely smile. Her eyes shone with incredibly warmth and her face which minutes before had been contorted in pain was now trapped in a loving stare. Her skin glowed with love. Oozing care from every pore. I stared at the Butterfly that had lain beneath the cocoon of pain and obscenities and for a second my gaze dimmed.
Beautiful.
“If you cry, I’ll have you sent back to heaven on the next Chariot!” Legna’s voice broke into my reflection.
I looked at him and laughed.
We both laughed.
It seemed everyone in the room was trapped in the same heady sense of Joy that we all were. The doctor was beaming with restrained pleasure in the corner. The midwives were clucking their contents in a corner and the mother, so beautiful, who minutes before had been begging a sexual alliance with Christ was now content with simply staring at her baby. In truth the only person in the room who wasn’t crying with joy was probably the baby. But she was crying so she half qualified.
“They’re like Palindromes.” Legna said.
“What?”
“Humans. They’re like Palindromes. There’s rarely nothing straight forward about what they do. It’s easy to misjudge them based on their actions but that would be a mistake. They are multidirectional creatures. Granted there are occasions were their actions can be judged on the surface of it but more often than not. If you look the other way you find that there are other things to read. Too see.”
Legna looked at me.
“Take war for instance. It’s a horrifying debacle of man pitted against man in a sludge fest of manic gore. They die. In their millions. In thousands of terrible ways. But the purpose of war oddly enough is to bring about peace. The reason behind the slaughtering of millions is so that billons may live. And live better lives too.”
“Do You see what I mean. You have to look around with humans. Never be quick to judge.”
“You see a woman hanging on the corner. She is selling herself for money. Deplorable you say. And then you find out she does this to fend for her three children back at home. All three are in school and because of her sacrifice they stand a chance of having a better life.”
“Or you see a woman willing to go through nine months of back aches, sleepless nights, nausea and eventual labor woes for just the opportunity to see a baby. Her baby.” He smiled at me. “Now you understand.”
I nodded.
“I think so. Human emotions aren’t an exact science. There’s nothing precise about them or their actions. It’s inexact. Never odd or even.”
Legna smiled at me.
“That’s a palindrome you know? Never Odd or even. It can be read in either direction.” He looked at the cooing mother. “It’s a fitting definition of human emotions or the human race. Never odd or even.”
Never odd or even.
He soared slowly into the air.
“I must leave now. I have another assignment. Some mother has asked for guidance over her children while she is away on her business trip. They are about to watch Basic Instinct 2. I might have to knock down a power pole to stop them.” HE chuckled and then looked at me.” If there is nothing else, we’ll continue your lecture tomorrow.”
I raised my wings and dropped them.
“Angel Legna. That’s a Palindrome isn’t it?”
“I’m impressed.” He said.
And then he was off. He shot off into the air. Vanishing through the ceiling.

Left alone,I took a walk outside leaving the mother with her child. Despite Legna’s assurances I wasn’t convinced the mother couldn’t see me. I left her to breast feed her child in peace.
The night was warm with the faintest of breezes in the air. As I made my way down the street the lovely singing creature flew by and filled my ears with lovely music. I closed my eyes and enjoyed its symphony.
I thought about what Legna had told me. Never odd or even.
Nothing in life was as it seemed.
I was learning.
I for instance knew that my new singing friend was called a Mosquito.

51 comments:

Carlang said...

FIRSSTTTTT!!!!
I'm first!
I cant believe it.
Finally.
I'd like to dedicate this award to my mum ,my lovely sister, my new friend at http://writeuche.blogspot.com/ my.....

Hey..
Wait a minute.

This is my page!!

geishasong said...

guess that makes me second then

Iwalewa McDaniels said...

lol @ ur comment.

first I av to say I am seriously considering C-section now. .

this was great to read and I just like ur writing style. Great job! and i like the ending.

naijalines said...

Wow!!!
...so beautiful.
Things aren't always what they seem, look beyond the surface... As much as we know, there's so much more we do not know.
Could be developed into a movie script?

bumight said...

you actually continued a post! great! and when did you start posting on weekends?

mizchif said...

Na, na, na, na, 5 comments already, of which 1 shd be disqualified as Carl decided to bless the comment form 1st.

Lemme go and read 1st!

mizchif said...

WOW!!! Blown away once again by ur writting!

Will u marry me Angel Carlang Mourhino? Pls say yes.

NA wa for angel, wey jus finish orientation dey hear lollipop o!
Dis angel never even sabi toyota sef.

So true what u said abt us humans, and i like the analogy to palindromes.

U always blow me away everytime.

ok, lemme go now before i start sounding like a groupie!

Naija Idol said...

Chai! I wonder how y'all come up with these stories sef.

Really Really nice write up, loved the palindromes thing with the angel legna and all.

Naapali said...

I am glad you revisited Mourinho and now have him in Naija. I hope he guards his wings jealously before he loses them.

So even angels wonder who voted for Obasanjo.

onydchic said...

carlang, ur a genius.


@iwalewa, ur c-section comment is thoroughly seconded.

Carlang said...

@ Carlang:
You sound a lot like someone i know. How about we meet for a date?
My place or yours?

@Geishasong:
How about a compromise.
First and a Half.

@Iwalewa:
You're joking right. Trust me having a ceasarian is a bad idea.
You ever watched Baywatch?
Ever seen anyone with a Ceasarian Scar?
EXACTLY!!

@NAIJALINES:
i dont know about Script.
Writing for Nigerian Movies is not something i think i could do.
In case you havent noticed I'm insane.
lol.
But thanks for the compliment..

@Bumight:
lol.
I have no idea.
I must be bored.
Speaking of boredom. Howz that side of you coming on?

@Mizchif:
lol.
Thanks dear.
I'll ask the Angel if marrying is allowed under the celestial code.
You;ll have to figure out a way to handle all those feathers...

@ Naija Idol:
Thanks. I wonder the same thing everyday myself.
Maybe I'm crazy?
Yes..
That's probably it...

@Naapali:
Thanks.
You do know that you've been a lot of inspiration to me.
I promised myself after the first post that I'd write a second.
I just didnt feel up to it till last night.

P.s Spoiler alert.
The title of the post is a Palindrome...

@Onyidchic:
And Carl felt the blood rush to his face and settle in a firm blush!

Afrobabe said...

lmao...first kuh...

wow, great work...angels who marvel at us...we marvel at ourselves as well...lol @ the singing friend...almost as good as an angelic chior....

mizchif said...

For my sake, the celestial code will just have to make provision.
There must be a twistable clause.

Don't worry bout the feathers, we'll get creative with them.

Ms Sula said...

Great as usual.

I love that you revisited a very fun character. This tale oddly reminds me of Micromegas by Voltaire... Humans seen/observed from an outsider's vantage point.

You're so brilliant you conjured up Voltaire. Keep it up!

Ms. Catwalq said...

Carlang,: 1. u r an idiot.

2. I will like to reserve a copy of your first book. I am even willing to put a payment down...

3. As for that which fuels the marriage, u will give me a day or so...finals are tomorrow and I am exhausted

Ms. Catwalq said...

Oh, Geese do see God and also, I find it amazing that when the sound of crickets are slowed down, they sound like choir of magnificence. I pomise


so, it is possible that mosquitoes are just as wonderful....

naijalines said...

I didn't actually have nollywood in mind when I said movie script. I wouldn't have thought nollywood qualified (at least not yet) :)

Mz. Dee said...

omg i HAVE to meet u.
wat will it take to make an appointment??
I love this whole angel series....maybe its me but i just love anythin written bout angelz. Probably cos no one rily knowz dem and i lyk to see the differnt thotz on how an angel rily is.

But dis was beautifully written. Printing a copy for my aunt who jst had a baby!!

I love ur wit as u write...funny enuf i was thinkin bout the whole fuckin session d woman seemed to be hvin..lolz.

Birth.. its a beautiful thing.

And i just learnt a new word.. Pali...uh abeg. leme check it again.

:p

fantasy queen said...

Thanx carl,here I am lying down on my sick bed and reading this,n suddenly I'm having conversations with angels(hopefully they're as witty as angel L and M)

ShonaVixen said...

like every1 else i have to say this was a great read!made me laugh and also marvel @ the angels. Great work Mourinho(i so smiled when i read that coz i so love Jose Mourinho..lol. xoxo

NigerianDramaQueen said...

How do you do it?
How do you get wittier each time?

From Voltaire to Obasanjo to Mosquitoes, you had me cracking up.
Loved the bit about palindromes. Very witty. Okay I need to stop using that word.
Great job Angel Carl.

PS: Ur offfffff. I can't believe you made a comment to yourself and responded to yourself, and offered your self a date. LOLLLLLLLLL

Nine said...

Hahahahahaha.
Very nice.Just the right touch of whimsy.At least mosquitos are good for something:)

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

buhahhahhaaa
there are so many quotables here..I dont know if this post was supposed to be funny but it sure made me laugh..you imagination is wild..you write like you have lived with angels..I wont doubt these are the way things are procured in angel world.
brilliant.lovely. sweet..i think i love you carl

rayo said...

how did ya do that. frank peretti kinda stuffz, wish i cld, i jst neva get it

rayo said...

not sure my comment got posted. i llove this, wish i cld do stuffxz lyk dis, tis so peretti, sorry to compare

Carlang said...

@ Afrobabe:
Well, i had to be first somewhere.
I never seem to be able to make it first anywhere else.
lol.
I'm glad you liked it. I'll admit i had fun writing it.

@Mischif:
Creative with feathers?
WHy does that sound intresting?
lol.
I'll see if there;s a twist in the celestial code. although i'll have to admit , it's a pretty code to break.
Last guy to try had issues resolving them.
Lucifer i believe was his name..


@Ms Sula:
I hate to admit it. But i haven't read Voltaire. Its one of those things i keep promising myself I'll do.
Perhaps one of the many reasons behind my Voltaire ignorance is, I am yet to chance on his book.
But that's a silly reason because i'm sure i can download an ecopy if i decided too.
I think i will now..

Thanks for the compliment.
I''m glad you enjoyed. it.
Keep it up?
I intend to try..

@Ms Catwalq soon to be MrsCarlwithac:
1) I accept.

2)I'll send you bank details. The book might take a while ( oh maybe a decade) but you don't mind do you?

3)Seeing as i am replying 3 days later. I am officially concerned and curious.
How were the exams?

@ Mrs Carlwithac nee Catwalq:
Interesting theory on Crickets.
Now look what you;ve done. You've given me a silly idea for a book!

@ Naijalines:
Lol.
Someone after my own heart.
Hmm.. so we're talking western adaptation.
That might be a lot harder.
But not impossible.
Not impossible at all..

Anyone know Speilberg's BLog URL?

@Mz dee:
lol.
No you don't.
I'm a pretty boring person.
Most of my creativity ends up in Blogsville.
The rest is just a boring annoying guy who blushes at invites.
lol.
Did your aunt like the post?
I;m in love with your aunt by the way. Anyone strong enough to insult a Nigerian cops is a hero in my books.
New words are silly. I don't bother learning them until they pop up in some novel.
i forget them 2 pages after...

@Fantasy queen:
How do you feel now dear.
Bettter.
I'm sure the angels were delightful company.
Although for some funny reason us witty guys turn suddenly dumb when we're in your delightful presence.
Something about your eyes..

@SHonavixen:
Ah...
Might you be a Chelsea fan?
So am I.
So am i...
lol.
We blues stay united.
Angels fly in the sky.
The sky is blue....
lol

@Nigeriadramaqueen:
it always amazes me when amazing writers ask me how i do silly things.
You're a pretty talented writer yourself you know.
lol.
It;s okay. I kinda like the witty word. Someone sent me a mail suggesting i seriously consider following the footsteps of David Sedaris.
I'm wondering if there's a chance.
Seriously though. WHo did vote for Obasanjo?

Oscar wilde once said. A relationship with yourself is one of life long bliss.

@ Nine:
Ever gone camping with a girl and you have to protect her at night from bugs..
Only , it's all a guise,you only protect her for 5 minutes before you make a move.
Yes?
Well then..
Mosquitoes are good for something!

@ Rayo:
It's not that difficult.
Close your eyes.
visualize..
Open them.
Write...

It's okay. First time i wanted to write about angels years ago ( it was supposed to be my first novel) someone said.. Oh..Like Frank Perreti.
I was stunned.
Someone had stolen my idea.
So i thrashed my idea.
Till now I've never read any of his books!

Free-flowing Florida said...

i mightily enjoyed this post

The experiences of an achiever....... said...

oh carlang...sigh....u write so beautifully.i liked this...witty, and well written.

30+ said...

"Human emotions aren’t an exact science. There’s nothing precise about them or their actions. It’s inexact" ...You can say (type) that again.

Lol @ Iwalewa's comment, I don't blame you, with Carlang's graphic description.

Jaja said...

Angels in Nigeria? Original ones?

And what the hell do you mean by that?- Angels beings being Kidnapped in Port Harcourt? What sort of defamation of public image is that! You have been hereby fined. I will figure out the amount later.

Beyound my rage, I am thinking: You are a very perceptive writer. There are just nuggets of observation littered about the piece.

Uzezi said...

i nodded at this: “You see a woman hanging on the corner. She is selling herself for money. Deplorable you say. And then you find out she does this to fend for her three children back at home. All three are in school and because of her sacrifice they stand a chance of having a better life.”

ihave heard too many people used too many wrong words to describe some women that they fail to look at their motives.


to this post. interesting read. beautiful actually. Angel?

that birth thing, it ain't easy. haven't been there, but I know.

Goldfish said...

hmm...we've sorta met...but it's imperative that we do this time around. ran into your first Andromeda, she just caught the blogbug! and she raved about your writing 90% of the time...the other 10% was when she shut up to let me read your stuff...even at that, she just could not stop laughing. if you wrote on paper, i'd say you poisoned your pen with sweet humour, but here, i'd say you smeared your nails in oils preserved since noblemen prowled the courts of ancient Europe, showing off their personalities and banalities through wit and fa├žade! Well done. I know how you did it, you ‘criminal’. You bugged heaven!

AlooFar said...

Wow, wow, wow... this is beautiful.

Esmeralda said...

was going to point out angel legna's "palindromism" ... but u beat me to it. riveting piece, i thoroughly enjoyed reading.

brilliant!

tobenna said...

I swear, you are either crazy or eccentric or both.
mentally challenging but a nice piece nevertheless.

badderchic said...

Now your going to make me want to abstain for the rest of my life!

NEVER!

Goldfish said...

Since you successfully bugged heaven, you must think you are a GOD DOG. You have had your DIAPER REPAID. Mama must be proud of you. BLESSED ARE THEY THAT BELIEVE THEY ARE BLESSED. More palindromes for you! Cheers.

Carlang said...

@ Free-flowing florida;
Thanks.
I'm glad you did.
SO i was thinking. Now that you are happily married. WHat do we call you now.
Mrs Free Flowing Florida?

@ The experience of an acheiver:
Merci.
I'd like to thank Thalia and Clio:Some of The Muses who helped me to write the piece.
How are you?

@30+:
Ah AH.
Was it that bad?
I thought i down played the whole pregnancy thing.
lol

@ Jaja:
Spoken like a man who was forced to live with militants for a year.
The Stolkholm syndrome makes an entry.
By all means , fine away.
Unless i am mistaken you will have to prove that the angel was not kidnapped.
You also will probably have to explain how you came about your confident knowledge.
Dial 1-800 KIDNAPPERSFAQ perhaps?

@ Uzezi:
Lol.
Thanks dear.
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm surprised it took so long before i wrote this sequel.
I enjoyed writing it so much.

@ Goldfish:
Right!
I am still trying to decide if i should treat your entree with delight or pause with hesitation at the presented fact that some guy has been in close confidant with my first (and frankly yet usurped) love.
lol.

Thanks for the compliment.
How is dear sexy "C" these days.
Your comments have left me shadowed with all sorts of guilt. I shall have to give her a call soon.
Meet me you say.
How do you pray to come about this?
Closely related to the above question is the when and how.
Thanks for the compiled addition to my Palindrome library ,although i must confess i already had them.
Still here is one that might be of interest to us both .
The longest Palindrome word in recorded history is Saippuakivikauppias.
It is a finish word meaning ( if memory serves me correctly) Soap stone cutter.

@ Aloofar:
Why why Why thank you.
lol.

@ Esmerelda:
SO sorry. lol.
Permit me to convey Angel Legna's impressed congrats.
There are now two of you who succesfully decoded his name.
The first is a blushing angel..

@Tobenna:
I'm rooting for both.
Both i think.
Definitely.
lol

@ Badderchic:
No.
Please dont.
Wait.. does this mean you wont even Kiss a guy?

guerreiranigeriana said...

...i don't know what to say other than you are simply amazing...are you from this world?...i loved this piece to pieces!!!...especially the looking beyond the surface...the women selling themselves piece is one i always take up in discussions about health, aids and africa...this was superb, superb!!...

Jarrai said...

You had me in a trace, this piece is totalling captivating. No be joke, i felt hypnotised.

What can i say.......FABULOUS.

ablackjamesbond said...

Brilliant!

Why Mourihno?

Black Man Comes said...

Dude another highly magnificent post. Wow.

1. Can I reprint in my local magazine, with all accolades to you but an edited version. Ofcourse editor as to permit me to

2. Whatever happened to you friend - Hennesy or is it vodka that you call her from way back.

Goldfish said...

let's begin somewhere...are u on Facebook? Add me up, i have some interesting stuff to show/discuss with you.

theicequeen said...

@lmao! Carl, youre a goat! came here and first thing i see is your dumb ass comment..."i'd like to dedicate" ke? LMAO!!

and the rest of you..ya'll are effin shittin me!! 43?! already? in the blink f a split second that i ...arghhhhh!

theicequeen said...

awww, i loved it! i feel that wanna-squish-you-with-a-hug thing again (yes, i'm a compulsive hugger, sue me!)

"This was more depressing than watching Abraham try to count his children"LMAO at that line..how do yo ucome up with stuff like this?! brillliant!

ahem, i owe you lunch..you remember ba?

N.I.M.M.O said...

.. An English lesson on Palindromes.
... A lot of wit.
.... Plenty imagination

......thats vintage Carlang!
....... with the Cee of course.

naijalines said...

Thought you'd like to know...I've updated, dear insane one.

Yet to see the insanity though...probably cos I'm insaner. *Is there such a word?* 'Instinctively thinks so. Hmmm...

Carlang said...

@ Guerriranija:
Yes. I think i;m from the is world.
Lots of water. One moon. The females are the sexy side of the specie.
Earth i believe it is called.
Same planet?

Then yes.
Yes I'm from earth.

I think..

@ Jarrai:
Thanks.
Now I'm blushing!

@ablackjamesbond:
I have no idea.
It just seemed like a nice enough name at the time i was writing it.
Why?
DO you have anything against Mourinho?
Well ....
DO YOU??

@blackman comes:
Depends.
What magazine are we talking about.
Send me an email with the details and i'll get back to you.
My address is on my detail page.

You mean Stolichnaya.
She's fine.
Still the same..
Sadly

@Goldfish:
Facebook seems to have suffered some sort fo setback. I cant seem to log into their page.
The problem isnt restricted to me. More people have called to complain.
We'll just have to wait until they sort out their issues.
Fair enough?

How come you have so many pages on your blogs.
As opposed to posts

@Theicequeen:
A goat?
.........
Er Okay.
lol.
Thanks. I enjoy recieving hugs so on that we;re a matching pair.
As regarding lunch. I thought we already cleared the how..

@NIMMO:
lol.
Thanks bro.
How the going going?

@Naijalines:
She's updated.
She has..
SHE HAS...
Right. So i click on her name and...

Uche said...

I'm definitely considerin a 'C' Section.Bros uve defeated my plan to do it d hebrew women's way...and the palindromes-cooool.so...why didnt Angel Legna stop u 4rm lukin at the baby exit point. u culda got corrupted.wen man...sory!angel dey fall, the distance far o!

Buttercup said...

oh wow...i dont even know what to say...i've been rendered speechless...

rayo said...

i kip dropn by nd i kip seein dirs nutn new 2 read. carl i've read all ur old posts. i want a new one. now